Funny Facebook Status

Woman laughing at laptop

Looking for some new ideas to amp up the humor on Facebook? The great thing about funny status messages is they get your friends chatting and sharing a few funny messages of their own. From the popular, what three words would you say to me if we woke up in jail together to sharing movie quotes, your Facebook status is a chance to spark great conversation, amusing anecdotes and create new connections.

Movie and Television Show Quotes

Some popular sources for quotes include Office Space ("Tina believes that you have her stapler"), The Simpsons ("Connie tastes like burning"), True Blood ("You killed my fairy godmother!") and Family Guy ("Chad says give a larbage; Throw out your garbage"). If you and your friends have a favorite movie or a can't-miss TV show, they would be other good choices for picking humorous references everyone would enjoy. Don't be afraid to pull a quote from a film or reword it for fun.

  • Hack or Do Not Hack. There are no firewalls.
  • My name is Danny O'Malley. You drank my last beer, prepare to die.
  • Of all the social networks in all the Internet connections in the world, she logs into mine.
  • My mama always said, "life is like a diet plan, you never like what you're gonna get."
  • Well it's not the social networks in your life that counts, it's the life in your social networks.

Other great ways to come up with status messages are to replace a key phrase in the quote with a silly word, like duck. (This is a popular game on Twitter and mixes well with your Facebook status updates).

  • To Duck or Not to Duck.
  • Cry fowl! And let loose the ducks of war!
  • Take your paws off me you damn, dirty duck!
  • Frankly my dear, I don't give a duck.
  • I'll be duck!

Other Status Ideas

Not everything that's funny to you will be funny to someone else. So when in doubt, you can fall back on famous quotations and political one liners such as Jay Leno comparing the election process to The Weakest Link. "They ask a bunch of people questions and they keep getting rid of the dumbest person, so just the smartest person is left. It is kind of the opposite way we elect a president."

Popular news items such as Carmageddon in California (they shut down a major artery for the weekend in Los Angeles) to the News of the World hacking scandals in Great Britain are often terrific fodder for an amusing status. Just check out the day's headlines for the most ridiculous or outlandish story and go from there.

Funny Facebook Status Sites

Thousands of Facebook users have posted funny messages before you. Why start from scratch when there's so much material already out there? Browse your friends' profiles for inspiration or peruse compiled lists. Here's a great list to get you started:

  • Geeker's Magazine - Find more than a 150 funny status update ideas.
  • Tech Splurge - From jokes to anecdotes to bad quotes, Tech Splurge compiled 70 great status update ideas.
  • Damn You Autocorrect Dot Com - From the truly outrageous to the downright freaking hysterical, you'll find iPhone users sharing the best auto-correct oopsies from their text messages.
  • Status Book - This site has collected a wide variety of messages from the clever to the smart to the sweet and the silly.

Own Your Status

Find a funny status message that you like, don't be afraid to adjust it to make it your own. Some great example status messages include:

  • A man asked a fairy to make him desirable and irresistible to all women in bed. She turned him into a book.
  • In 1949, forecasting the relentless march of science, Popular Mechanics said "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
  • Dear weekend. I hereby propose a continuing resolution denying all Mondays until they are funded
  • When life gives you limes, I say reach for the tequila
  • 99 cups of coffee on the wall, 99 cups of coffee. Take one down. Pass it around, 98 cups of coffee on the wall...
  • Your prince would be here by now if he stopped for directions …
  • Laws of Physics: Hold up a piece of paper. I'll throw a rock. Who wins?
  • Political Lessons: If at first you don't succeed, cheat.

Before You Write

Before writing a funny Facebook status, consider your audience. Are you comfortable broadcasting this message to all of the contacts in your list of friends? An off-color joke can offend people in your larger network who may not share your sense of humor. A joking comment about sexual activity, drinking or drugs can be easily misconstrued. Companies may also be viewing Facebook profiles during routine background checks. Think about whether you would like a potential employer stumbling across your "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor" quote.

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